Bila dah terpaksa

Td tolong abg wat hwork. Liat ya amat. Subject membaca. Dari bule baca pelan2 terus xde bunyi. Sy tau dia penat. Jadual pack dari pagi smpi kul 9:30pm. Pastu nak wat hwork lg. Kesian pun ada. Mmg dia terpaksa.

Dh la subject dia x minat. Kalu kasi maths ke science xdela camtu gayanya. Mungkin ikut style sy. Dulu sy sekolah rendah pun sama. Subject baca je lelap. Sekolah menengah je baru ada minat. Along angah pun show same symptoms. Bila dh terpaksa creativity pun kurang.

Sy pun sama. Sy tau now sy salah bidang. Bila keje hr, byk mende kena membaca n be creative dlm mengarang. Tu yg jd terpaksa. Tu yg bila bgun pagi mmg terpaksa bawa diri ke opis. Really dragging my feet. Tp buat masa ni apa boleh buat sbb tu periuk nasi to support my family. Mmg terpaksa layan.

Byk cth bila dlm keadaan terpaksa. Terpaksa tunjuk muka baik bila dpn mertua. Terpaksa lyn org yg kekadang rasa nyampah sbb nak jaga air muka. Terpaksa buat things yg against our principle. Terpaksa berborak thou xde topic nak borak. Terpaksa this terpaksa that. Mmg penat.

Somehow I wish I can be selfish. Dun give a damn apa people say bout me. Tp sy hidup bermasyarakat. Kalu dok dlm gua sorg diri lainlah. Be cruel. Terpikir gitu. Tu yg kekadang kita mkn diri. Tp pikir balik, nabi lagi teruk dugaan. Cabaran dia nak tegakkan Islam dimuka bumi. Tp sy ngaku sy x penyabar cam nabi. Mmg niat nak gitu. Tu yg terpaksa.

Dlm rship pun sama. X kisah la berkawan ke, bercinta ke, berkahwin ke, kita terpaksa hadapi kerenah the other party yg kekadang really contradict. Terpaksa layan thou kekadang really menyakitkan hati esp bila the other party x jujur ke, bohong ke, curang ke, etc etc yg kekadang mmg jelas nmpk dpn mata tp x ngaku or x ckp. Kena lak kita syg that person. Mmg terpaksa.

So apa solution or moral of the story (kwn sy suka beno guna ayat tu)?

Tah. Sy xde jwpan. Sy pun hadap je. Mungkin kena ada open communication ke, talk heart-to-heart ke, improvise ke, eliminate ke, ignore ke, or others.

Tp I know, 4 me, I need to start somewhere. Kena ada cut off. Time is against me. Smpi bila kan. People say life begins at 40. Maybe now is the time for me to start something. Do or die. Prepare for any consequences. If I need to start from scratch, so be it. Selalu sy buat swot analysis. Mungkin dh x relevant kot.

Hmmmm pilihan yg sukar but as always, 1st step is always the hardest things to do. Kena kuat determination.

May Allah kabulkan niat sy.....

Nite....

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