Why Do We Lie to the People We Love?

2:18 am
Bedtime story

Some reading I got from intent.com if not mistaken. Either we love someone or someone loves us. Better be the 2nd option as the tendency for our partner to derail is less but how about our tendency?

Things happen. Just like a car accident. Reckless driving is either from us or them. Doesn't matter how good we take care of our car but in split second shitty thing can happen.

Nyesal? Don't be. Learning experience or lessons learned.......

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When we are in love we walk on air and everything is wonderful, even when in reality we soon discover that it isn't perfect. Besides, who can compete with our complex imagination? And this is just the setting, the backdrop, for all the other lies, small or huge, which will soon emerge in our relationships:

• We have a hard time saying no because we want to be well-liked or to snare the quarry in a quest for love.

• We are anxious to please because we feel insecure about our own uniqueness and we tell our beloved what he or she wants to hear.

• We do not like confrontation especially in purposeless, repetitive fighting.

The truth will liberate your true identity.

It's time to go from people pleaser to self-pleaser. Carve out the time to remove your mask. This is the part of you that is not afraid to be bad. By bad I do not mean evil, but rather confronting your do-I-dare mindset. It feels good to be bad once in awhile because it liberates you from routine restrictions. Also, it is freeing to be bad at something new. You are not afraid to go beyond your comfort zone to try something different.

The stress of people-pleasing and performing for others can steal your heart away by making you an artificial person while you lose your natural self. Identity is tied into seeing yourself as separate from others – how do you differ? what is your opinion? What do you enjoy doing? What is your specific contribution?

Don't always resist what naturally emerges from your own personality. Suppression and self-silencing to maintain "the peace" or hold on to love come at a great cost to your health, both physical and spiritual.

You don't need to say what other people want to hear. However, you do need to hear what others say to honestly respond. Imagine how light you feel and how freely you breathe as you relate to others without your mask.

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone